4,902 words as of right now.

Still way behind. Hoping to catch up tonight or tomorrow.

I'm gonna upload a pdf of my progress so far, somewhere, and update it on occasion, so if you're REAL curious, you can read my badly written smut.

So far lots of really horrible things have happened to Archer, and all of them are sexy. Those are the easiest parts for me to write, and I'm trying to catch up, so it seemed right. I should probably go write something about the ACTUAL main character now.

1,354 words.

And all of them SUCK. And not in a fun way.

So far, nothing exciting to post - I'll post some of my nanovel tomorrow when I feel like I have something substantial.

here's what's happening in the story so far: A little metalhead boy who secretly has a vagina has been dropped off by his father at a prestigious and private music academy, where he intends to endure the sneers of his fellow students who are learning to play boring instruments (what are those wooden things?! CHAIRS?! OH YOU MEAN A GRANDPA'S GUITARS?!) while studying musical theater and electric guitar in order to hone his already existing chops so he can be the greatest Epic Metal musician in the history of rocking. What he doesn't know yet is the headmistress of the school actually purchased him from his father for an exhorbitant amount of money (rather than his father paying the school an equally exhorbitant tuition) for more devious purposes than you could possibly imagine, unless you're me, but if you're me then I don't have to tell you because you already know. :D

Good luck, anyone else who's plugging away at their word-beasts!

oh great good gods getting down to CRUNCH TIME.

It seems like I haven't been using this journal a lot, but I have - there's a ton of private entries full of outlines that I don't want to show anyone because even if I'm posting my thought processes publicly, a good writer NEVER GIVES AWAY THE ENDING. So as much as I want to show off, my moral code doesn't allow me to do so to my full desired extent.

Juggling outlining with making my (very complex) halloween costume has been proving difficult, but both are turning out to be some semblance of complete ... finishing the costume tonight, maybe I'll show that off too even though it's off topic. It's sort of on topic I suppose - Erotic genderqueer fantasy novel, Gothic Lolita Madame De Pompadour costume ... I guess they go together.

I hope I make it this year. Readers of my journal - PLEASE be enthusiastic, please help me out here by encouraging me to not quit this time. I need you guys, what few of you there are! I REALLY need to finish this year, I'm tired of getting depressed about not finishing anything, and this is something that's a little more attainable than getting a job that pays enough to support my family, or suddenly not having persistent physical pain all the time. :D Help my failing self esteem by telling me my story is awesome!

I started outlining! I fused the current story with this other one I've been working on, effectively turning the whole thing into weird occult alchemical speculative fiction erotica. Talk about cross-genre, whoo boy.

Saving this for novel inspiration and because it's stuck in my head:

Tool - Pushit


I will choke until I swallow...
Choke this infant here before me.
What is this but my reflection?
Who am I to judge and strike you down?

But you're
Pushing and shoving me.
You still love me and you pushit on me.

Rest your trigger on my finger,
bang my head upon the fault line.
Take care not to make me enter.
'cause if I do we both may disappear.

But you're pushing me,
Shoving me. Pushit on me.

Slipping back into the gap again.
I'm alive when you're touching me,
Alive when you're shoving me down.

But i'd trade it all
For just a little bit of
Piece of mind.

Put me somewhere I don't wanna be.
Seeing someplace I don't wanna see.
Never wanna see that place again.

Saw that gap again today
As you were begging me to stay.
Managed to push myself away,
And you, as well.

If, when I say I may fade like a sigh if I stay,
You minimize my movement anyway,
I must persuade you another way.

There's no love in fear.

Staring down the hole again.
Hands upon my back again.
Survival is my only friend.
Terrified of what may come.

Remember I will always love you,
Even as I claw your fucking throat away.
But it will end no other way.

The Black Iris and King Disintegrator are, for lack of a better word, Gods. 

King Disintegrator is very much like the classical concept of Death personified, except he is the Death of millions, a merciful Death, a well-timed Death.  He is specifically the Death of those who will be turned away at the gates of Heaven when the end time comes.  At that moment, he will take on a new persona, and be father of the abandoned, and prepare those who are left out for their futures.  He gives them something to belong to.

The Black Iris is King Disintegrator's voice, his messenger.  Too many people in the world would be overwhelmed by King Disintegrator himself, so the Black Iris is someone on their level.  He's not unlike an angel, in popular belief, except that he does not come from "God".

Name: Justin Joy
Age: Nobody ever asks.  Other questions come to mind first, such as "what are you?" and "why do I want to sleep with you even though you terrify me?"
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 130-ish
Body type: absurdly skinny, well-toned, with very long graceful arms and legs.
Hair: Subject to change at any given moment.
Eyes: brown, with a hint of green around the rim
Face shape: Can only be described as "perfect".  Justin Joy is the image of such universal appeal that those who see Justin Joy can only describe Justin Joy as "beautiful," "Handsome," and the like, but specific facial features are never clearly remembered.
Mode of dress: However Justin Joy pleases, in as little or more garb as Justin Joy feels necessary. Because Justin Joy can get away with anything.

Justin Joy is a dancer, courtesan, and shaman.  Justin Joy also shuns the concept of gender binary so completely that there is no-one, except perhaps Justin Joy's parents, who remember what gender, if any, Justin Joy was percieved to be at birth.

Justin Joy is Random's self-proclaimed spiritual advisor.  Justin Joy is the only person who knows about Random's dreams.  Justin Joy is also the only person who knows where those dreams are coming from, and is nowhere near prepared to drop that kind of a bomb on Random.

Name: Trench
Given Name: Maryanna Lohmer
Age: 24
Height: 5'1"
Weight: 150 lbs
Body type: Incredibly broad and muscular. chiseled.
Hair: Long, Jet black with a red strap across her bangs.  Chin-length bob. somewhat curly.
Eyes: blue-gray, heavy-lidded
Face shape: very round, with full lips and a very slight nose.
Mode of dress: About what you'd expect from a goth dyke, even though she's quite fond of men.

Maryanna "Trench" Lohmer is the drummer of XY Axis and one of Random's closest friends.  She has a serious egomaniacal streak as well as anger management issues, but once you get past those major flaws she's a fairly decent person.  She's prone to "call it as she sees it," with no tact or regard for other's feelings.  She's rather concerned for Random's well being, knowing he's been suffering lately but not what from.  She secretly has a crush on him but knows there's no chance of it being consumated, so she does her best to make him happy in other ways.

Name: Random
Given Name: Petermurphy Nivek Smith.  Uses a stage name because, while he's proud of his namesakes, he thinks it's silly that his very old school goth parents named him such.
Age: 32
Height: 5'11"
Weight: Undisclosed but very thin
Body type: Muscular, but thin, very much like a dancer.
Hair: Long, medium texture, copper blonde, perfectly straight, and falls to just past mid-back.  Is naturally black, but colors it for the irony, since he knows people would think his natural hair color wasn't real anyway due to his profession.
Eyes: vibrant green, narrow, very inviting.  He has a very comforting gaze.
Face shape: very long, heart-shaped, finely boned.  Looks a bit like a very handsome older woman with a minimal amount of proper makeup application.
Mode of dress: Classically rivetpunk.  Raised by old school goths, his clothing style is very romantically inspired as well as very grungy and DIY.  Fond of tight black jeans and distressed old band shirts as much as he is of leather and ruffled shirts.

Random is the lead singer and synth programmer of a popular darkwave band called XY Axis (name subject to change, this is a rough draft).  He is renowned amongst Goth and Industrial circles as an all around nice guy, a great listener, and the most down to earth rock star alive, which is particularly remarkable in the Goth scene.  He's the guy people come to with their problems, and he dispenses wisdom, advice, and sympathy without fail every time.  Underneath this cool humanitarian exterior however, there lies a cavalcade of unresolved self image and identity problems, and a plague of unceasing nightmares which secretly fuel his work.

This journal is the place for notes and eventually writings for my NaNoWriMo project for 2007, entitled "The Black Iris".  The story, simply put, is an apocalypse story from an angle not commonly explored: the viewpoint of those bringing it about.

I'll be starting with character descriptions soon; keep an eye out.